Promiscuity and 'Reality' TV: Real Love in Three Weeks!

It's 2AM, a game of hacky sack from the room above has just awoken you from your peaceful slumber. You peel your face from your copy of Durkheim's Rules of Sociological Method. You have concluded that you aren't one of those lucky individuals who can learn through osmosis. What are you to do? Turn on the good old fashioned boob tube.

Click.




News. Brian Williams. [Yawn] Boring.

Click.




Ocho-Cinco. This might be interesting. Wait...why are there starving children on TV? Why aren't you playing football Chad? Nairobi? Thank god I don't live in Africa.

Click.




FLAVOR FLAAAAAAVVVVV! Yeah boiiiiiiiii! WOOOOWWWWWW! VH1, I bow to thee for once again providing me with mass-consumed sustenance. I really hope that Flav finds the woman he has been looking for. If Brigitte Nielsen can't take care of the little, developmentally-challenged imp, who can? Flavor Flav, you're going to be alright. "Hoopz" and "Deelishis" didn't work out, but what can you expect when you have to find love in three weeks? For you, my man, the third time is the charm! You're going to find your soulmate and the two of you will take care of your seven rugrats. You'll pop another one in the oven, and further share your love with the world. And when it is all said and done, hopefully this will be the last time you have to search for love.

Flav, I just want you to know that I'm trying to be "Sinceer", but it's really hard when you don't seem take love or women very seriously. Come on, "Myammee", "Hotlanta", " Grayvee"--is it me or does this sound like a PA forgot to use spell check when printing out the cue cards? Why can't you call them by their real names? Instead, you choose names that couldn't get much more degrading--"Bunz", "Thing 1 and Thing 2", and "Luscious D" (Okay, I'll admit, this one's kinda hot). The truth of the matter is that the names you give women on your show are the least of your problems. Listen up, Flav, If you're going to find real love you need to look beyond "reality" television.

Flav, try to understand that shows like Rock of Love, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, I Love New York, and Flavor of Love are simply saying the same thing about love--if, in three weeks, you can get two dozen women together in one house, you'll find real love. I don't know in which alternate dimension this kind of activity passes for "reality", but in our society if people see 24 women in one house they either think it is a safe house for domestic violence victims or brothel. I don't want to be overly critical, because I think we need to understand this illegitimate conception of love is of our own doing. Though it pains me, I'll admit that I frequently watch three out of the four shows I just mentioned. I have had a hand in the devaluation of love by promoting conduct that in every day life is considered promiscuous, but is widely acceptable and commonplace on nearly every major television network.

So Flav, you can spare me those crocodile tears. I'm just as culpable as you are in all of this, but I think I know how I can help you find love. Without sounding too much like Seth Rogen in "The 40-Year Old Virgin", love is like a seed. You plant the seed. You wait for it patiently. You take care of its needs by buying it potting soil and plant food. You wait for it patiently. You see it start to sprout so you mist it for encouragement. You wait for it patiently. Eventually, your plant grows and you realize that it isn't what you expected. It's almost scary how unexpectedly different it is. Then it hits you--the unexpected part was the part that you didn't ask for, but it was what made love worth the wait in the first place.

So you hang in there Flav. Cut it out already. Honestly, the world can't handle a Flavor of Love 4. Be patient, and love will come to you. And for God's sake, wrap it up already.

A Double-Standard Institutionalized in Slang

When thinking about the words we use and where they come from, I think it’s important to consider the patriarchal implications of those associated with sexual behavior.  Think about the words we use to describe “promiscuous” women: slut, whore, floozy, tramp, cumdumpster, harlot, bitch, ho, and femme fatale.  These words are all negative and degrading in their connotation, not to mention, the words themselves are no less than moral indictments.  Meanwhile, the words we use for “promiscuous” men are generally glorifying recognitions of conquest and/or domination: pimp, player, casanova, stud, and ladies’ man.  I’ve even heard the term “make-out artist” applied in this way.  It's no coincidence either that words like "pussy", slang appropriated from female anatomy, refers to men who are relatively inactive sexually or unwilling to have sex outside of a real commitment to another person.  Women walk a fine line between sexy and slutty, and to trip over that line may be as unexpected and undeserved as an accusation or rumor spread by an angry ex or jealous friend.  Men, on the other hand, enjoy a legacy of being rewarded for wanton, even exploitive sexual behavior as evidenced by language itself and perpetuated therein.  In my opinion, a serious look at language exposes a highly gendered contradiction in our characterization (our definition and moral characterization) of sexual behavior.  Further, it is clear to me that language plays a significant role in how we interpret expectations.  In other words, we are pressured into certain behaviors by the definitions commonly available to us in language.

What do you think?  (I invite your comments!)

"Slut" is a pretty serious word. Think carefully about how you use it.

Promiscuous Girl

Even the lyrics and dance moves of the most popular songs on the radio and that are shown as music videos on MTV or VH1 promote promiscuity, specifically among teenagers and young adults, as these are the age groups which are being targeted.

(borrowed from post secret)

The Internet and Promiscuity

Mass media has become an institution that greatly effects the way people develop relationship with each other. The internet has enabled faster friendships, but with these almost immediate connections, do the bonds between two people strengthen? Or because of the fast paced world we live in, do these relationships (sexual or not) come and go in short spurts?

The creation and popularity of such sites like Myspace, Facebook, and Friendster certainly enable these cyber interactions. In some cases the interaction between two people is so deep that it can distract from an individual's real life. But where does the line of real life end and a virtual life begin? Second Life and World of Warcraft let people "escape" any reality they dislike. For individuals who can not fit in with their social network the internet suddenly allows them to create a new identity and become socially accepted in the cyberspace world.

What about promiscuity? How does the internet affect acceptance of or distaste for the term? How does the internet bring a new meaning to promiscuity? Thoughts?

I believe in a way the internet is desensitizing the term promiscuity. Sites such as myspace have developed a social network that encourages young girls to post promiscuous photos of themselves. (Let me state that I believe it is the network of those on myspace and not the makers of myspace itself that feed this behavior) Yes, there is still a line that can be crossed when it comes to promiscuity, but most girls and young women walk the line between socially accepted (on the internet) and socially deviant. In a way the cyber walls close off an openness, trust, and truth that comes from face-to-face interactions.

What the internet lacks in truth it makes up for in acceptance and encouragement of deviant behavior. The cyber walls allow individuals to step out of their everyday norms and explore their hidden desires. In this masked world promiscuity thrives.

The Social Network Theory and Procrastination

While sitting here attempting to finish my take home midterm I thought one of the quotations and my response might be of some interest and relevance to our study on the Sociology of Promiscuity.

“…networks orchestrate, at a very basic level, the various social situations with which we, as individuals, are confronted” (Lauman et al. 1994: 29)
Within our social networks, in a very intimate (close friends and family) and broad sense (school community or American culture), we are pressured to adapt to the social norm. The Social Network theory explains how our sexual encounters, relationships, and attitudes towards sexuality are shaped by our intimate and broad networks. In studying sexuality we have to examine the things that shape our beliefs and fears. “At a very basic level,” a group of friends may “affect whether two people will get together to form a sexual relationship” and also how they will act within that relationship. Sexuality does not need to be studied on a partnership level, it is something one has as an individual, but how we perceive and act on our sexuality can clearly be seen in our relationships and our social networks.

Another quote from the reading that I find relevant…
“…fundamental contribution of the network approach is in showing how the social networks in which people are embedded affect whether two people will get together to form a sexual relationship and, if they do, which cultural understandings and economic motivations they will bring to that relationship”

Do you find this to be true? I see things in my everyday life that definitely support the fact that my network influences the situations I get into. On a similar level, all the third parties involved in any relationship I have been in have highly influenced that relationship’s strengths, weaknesses, and ultimate outcome. Those third parties can be parents, siblings, friends, teachers, co-workers, and religious beliefs.

Some people might say...

having government funded public service announcements urging condom use promotes promiscuity. I say those people haven't been to India. 

(Borrowed From PostSecret)